Z and friends

Zeb and friends - 3
Originally uploaded by Three Seas.

At last week's gathering of moms, we lined up the babies for a photo. Missing is the other boy - who was taking a nap. On the left is Z (2 months), the girl in the middle is 5 1/2 months old, and the girl on the right is 4 1/2 months old.

laughter

Last night Z was lying in his bassinet in the living room and J's hands were doing flybys of Z's face. Z was squealing and smiling and then he started laughing! J kept moving his arms and hands....Z kept laughing which made J and I laugh and cry. It lasted for about 10 minutes and then Z seemed to get bored. Chalk up another first and another wonderful memory.

We've been trying to get him to laugh ever since, but all we get is his sweet smile. ;)

I'm itchin' to sleep...
Eczema has spread from my chest to my belly, arms, back, and legs. I'm assuming it is a combination of lack of sleep and anxiety about returning to work. It peaked yesterday so I went all out: eliminated wheat (my one leftover allergy from childhood - it's mild but present), worked out for 40 minutes, started taking flower essences at regular intervals (5-flower anti-stress formula), upped my soy milk intake, slathered myself in hydrocortisone and vegetable shortening, and took some tylenol and ibuprofen (to help ease swelling and pain). I asked the pharmicist at Walgreens if there were any antihistimines I could take while breastfeeding, but they all find their way into breastmilk. While antihistimines make adults drowsy they make kids hyper - no thank you. I'll be calling the doctor to see if there is something else I should be doing, but having lived with eczema my whole life I doubt there's much more I can do other than relax and enjoy the sunny day (and soak up as much Vitamin D as possible!).

I was fairly concerned yesterday about sleeping, exercising, and not itching, so I asked the universe for help. Wildly enough - Z slept for 5 hours last night then another 3. We all woke up refreshed and were out of the house with dogs by 7. J walked Z and the dogs on the trail while I climbed the stairs and jogged a little. We met up on the trail and talked for a while on the way back to the cars (yes - plural. The dog truck is a 2 seater and the dogs won't fit in the compact car...hopefully we'll purchase an all-purpose car soon so we can all travel comfortably and safely together). Plus, I think I figured out a proposal for how to go back to work in a comfortable way. More on that after I talk with some folks.

so, today's sunny, I slept well, and am less itchy. It looks to be another good day on the ranch.

2 months going on a year

We went to the doctor Monday - Z weighs 16.5 pounds and is 23 inches long. He's wearing 6-9 month old clothes (so we have a pile of 0-3 and 3-6 month clothes to hand off to the next baby. Let me know who's in need. Most of it is for the winter months so it might be best for me to hold onto it until fall/winter, although I guess in other parts of the country it's still winter. :)). Doc says that he's going to be stocky - he has wide hips and shoulders. I guess J's dreams of the next NBA star are dashed...it's time to shift our focus to the NFL. (ha ha ha)

When I was nursing Z in the women's lounge at Nordstrom's a couple weeks ago I met 3 other mothers and their babies. They get together every Tuesday so we met up with them yesterday. It's a fun crowd - we are all in our mid-30s and our babies are between 2 and 5 months old - two boys and two girls. Z fits right in - he's not much smaller than the oldest (5 1/2 month old girl). It was interesting to hear their decisions about work and childcare...I continue to collect data. They are a nurse, a dance instructor/reporter/editor, and a social worker. One pays for daycare 2-3 days/week, one has family care 3 days/week, and the other hasn't gone back to work yet but will leave her child with family. The one who expected to be a stay at home mom has to work to help pay the mortgage and the one who was ready to leave work to be a mom stayed on. Once again - it's hard to set expectations for someone you don't know yet.

As for the birth stories, two of them could easily have been c-sections but they listened to their hearts, fought their doctors and delivered naturally. One was herself 10 pounds 2 ounces and her brother was 10 pounds 4 ounces and they both were born naturally. Shoulda, coulda, woulda - midwife, home birth, more research on my doctors, listened to my heart rather than fear, blah blah blah. Next time...if there is one (way too early to be thinking about that...or is it? he he).

Z will outgrow his car seat (max weight is 20 pounds), bassinet (it's 30 inches long), and bjorn carrier (it's at the longest setting and almost doesn't fit around his Buddha belly) within the next couple of months. His changing table and swing will follow soon after. zoinks! Next thing you know he'll be taller than me and we'll be shopping at Big and Tall.

rhythm

I return to work in less than 2 weeks. I feel change in the air although I'm not sure what will change or how. To figure it out I've consulted a variety of sources: friends, family, coworkers, the tarot, and my heart. The voice I'm hearing loudest is my heart and I'm trying to muster the courage to listen to it. The most important concept I'm hearing is rhythm. The last few weeks have been such a blessing because we've been living each moment without a schedule. For once, my life has not been dictated by departure times and meeting schedules. It's a slower pace that reminds me of trips to Jamaica and Hawaii. A pace that allows you to experience each moment that catches your senses. There's no hurrying to the next "thing" whatever that may be.

I'm meeting a group of moms and children this morning for coffee and am not rushing to dress Z and myself. We have plenty of time to enjoy the morning and even write a few words about how we're not rushing. ;) As I cross this next threshold, I don't want to rush, I don't want to stress - no matter what we're doing. I want to progress at my own slow, deliberate pace.

I found me a rhythm.

visitors

Z and Uncle Z
Originally uploaded by countzachula.

Z continues to receive visitors. Uncle Z was here last week and LMcG was here this weekend. This week, Z may meet another college friend and next weekend LMcG's husband, SdG - who cooked our Thai Christmas dinner for us.

Other than that, it wasn't a very eventful weekend. I started gardening this a.m. around 8 - I wanted to take advantage of the sun. Luckily, the sky stayed clear and we had a beautiful day. SB and CW stopped by for a visit and brought their pup to play with ours. I think we all appreciated the visit. Z showed off his smile and we played the part of proud parents.

Z and J napped most of the day to the NCAA men's basketball games. We're happy to see Gonzaga advance although sorry that they eliminated Grandmomma's and Great Grandmomma's team (Indiana U).

The garden continues to dominate my thoughts. One thing I did this morning was lay boards across an area where Iko has been digging...but it only took him 3 hours to find another place to dig. I know that he's digging because he isn't getting the attention and exercise that he is used to. I understand why he's digging and know the best solution is exercise, but it frustrates me nonetheless. I so badly want to realize my garden vision in the front yard but am wary of Iko's potential destruction. I'm considering ferns as an inexpensive experiment.

mirrors and rattles and gloworms, oh my!

A ha! I finally figured out what all those baby toys are for! It took a few pages of advice from "What to expect the first year" and the arrival of a gloworm to spark the ephiphany. Now Z's crib and changing table are adorned like Christmas trees.

From "What to expect the first year"

The sense of sight.
Many objects, toys among them, can stimulate baby visually:

• Mobiles.
• Other things that move. ... Take a field trip to a pet shop and position baby in front of a fish tank or bird cage to view the action.
• Stationary objects. Babies spend a lot of time just looking at things. This isn't idle time, but learning time.
  
• Mirrors. Mirrors give babies an ever changing view, and most love them. (They especially enjoy looking at and socializing with the "baby" in the mirror, having no clue yet who that baby is.)

The senes of hearing.
...

• Rattles and other toys that make gentle sounds. You don't have to wait until your baby is able to shake a rattle independently. In the early months, either do the shaking yourself, put the rattle in baby's hand and help shake it, or attach a wrist rattle. Coordination between vision and hearing will develop as ababy learns to turn toward sound.
  

Social development.
...
Toys that help babies with social development are stuffed animals, animal mobiles, and dolls. Though it will be many months before they'll be able to hug them and play with them, even at this point they can and do begin to socialize with them -- just watch an infant converse with animals prancing ont he crib bumpers or revolving on a mobile.

So...that's what all those toys are for... sweet!

mixed bag

Outings are becoming easier and we travel to a new destination almost daily. We committed to walking 2 times per week and decided that on rainy days we will mall walk. Tuesday, I was nursing Z in the Nordstrom's Women's lounge when 3 other moms came in and started nursing. [What's the plural name for a group of moms nursing? A gaggle? A clutch? Seems there ought to be a word for the phenomenon...] We talked about nursing in public (it was my first time) and they gave me all sorts of tips. I hope to meet up with them on Tuesday at Reel Moms - a weekly showing of a current movie at one of the theaters for moms and infants. "The lights are dimmed and sound level reduced so you can hear and see your baby."

My brother is in town for his spring break. It isn't the usual "show off Seattle to family" trip - we've spent a lot of time hanging out at home with Z. We did get to the Ballard Farmer's Market today, we saw Greyboy Allstars on Thursday, and he went to the mac store yesterday. We'll get to EMP/SciFi museum and my dad reminded us to get to Dilettante for hot fudge sundaes and truffles (mmmmm).

Unfortunately, we are also mourning the loss of his and my mom's dog. When our cat died 3 years ago, I spent the next 3 days crying in bed then I made a scrapbook. I wrote down as many memories of him that I could and made a list of all of his quirks that I didn't want to forget - the way he headbutted me, greeted us on the front steps, and played with my hair. Goodbye Casey.

While walking around the mall, I've been surprised at how many children are there. I honestly hadn't noticed before. Now, I see them all and imagine Z at each of the different ages and stages. It's hard to believe he's almost 2 months old. He's close to figuring out his hands - 2 days ago he pulled a toy off of the side of his crib. Not too amazing of an accomplishment - it was attached by velcro and was not intentional, but it was cool to see him do something with his hands.

He continues to grow like a weed. In the last 2 days even the 3-6 month sized clothes are becoming small. Yesterday, I dug into the bin of 6-9 month sized clothes and found one of the smaller sleepers - it isn't overly loose! I'm amazed that one day an outfit will fit and the next day it won't. He's almost as long as the bassinet. When he stretches his arms out he touches each side of it.

I discovered that I could garden with him. Yesterday, I put him in the car seat and set him on the ground near me. I was able to weed a whole section and plant a Japanese maple that had been in pot on the deck. I hope the weather holds his week - there is so much that I want to do in the garden.

This is definitely the best job that I've ever had. It is so much fun to take each day hour by hour to care for Z, J, myself, the animals, and the house. Our pace is slow, deliberate, and meaningful. It seems to be unfolding...blooming as it should, bubbling up a little more each day like the hyacinth that I planted last fall.

Thanks to J and grandmomma for the daily support which allows me to relax and enjoy.

oscars

Last night, Z wore a vintage 1977 mini Elvis suit to our Oscars viewing party. Here he is waving to the crowd of adoring fans.

mardi gras

mardi gras
Originally uploaded by anneke boudreau.

We celebrated mardi gras last night with pancakes, sausage, and mimosas. Grandmomma decorated the house. Even the dogs wore beads.

6 weeks

We've made it to 6 weeks. It's gone by so quickly.

My blogging has slowed for a variety of reasons

1. When I'm not feeding, holding, entertaining, or cleaning the baby, I'm catching up on eating, laundry, shopping, or some other activity in preparation for feeding, holding, entertaining, or cleaning the baby.
2. I'm not analyzing every thought and event, I'm just living and loving. Therefore, there's been less to write about.
   

I could write lists of what he's done that's new, although the list isn't incredibibly long and not terribly exciting. The best are his noises and expressions. He squeals and smiles.

I am almost confident in my ability to take him places and to hang out with other people while he's around. Sunday, two friends brought their 18 month old for a visit. That night we went to a 2 year old's birthday party - it was about 4 times the energy of the Halloween Party. I was so energized afterwards - something about seeing friends that I hadn't seen in 6 weeks and increasing my confidence that we can get out of the house without much worry; that he does well in the car and around other people. In other words - he didn't freak out and we looked like real, confident, relaxed parents. It was cool.

Monday grandmomma and I explored Edmonds. We were out for 4 hours and I carried him for about 2. I got tired and needed to rest, but I wasn't totally sore on Tuesday. I spent most of the day on the couch, but wasn't totally slammed. I'm healing!

Last night, J set up my new chair and entertainment system (am/fm radio, dvd, cd, lcd for me) in the nursery. I have one remote for everything and can easily switch between functions. I'll probably never leave this room again... :)

To sum up:

• Having a kid is cool
• I'm not totally stressed out about meeting his needs
• I do worry about how much and how often he spits up, but since he's not too freaked out about it, I figure it's just part of the dance and that we'll get in synch eventually
• I love watching J entertain Z. Last night he wore the boppy pillow on his head and whistled a story to Z. I can't believe Z was able to sleep through all the bouncing of my stomach (from uncontrollable laughter).

At the party the other night, two friends were talking about how they and their husbands are on the fence about having children. I said, "I was on the fence, too, and am glad J pushed me off. We get to walk around the house all day acting like idiots and playing. It's pretty cool." Plus, think about all that he has to learn and that we have to teach. He's programmed to do so much, we're here to help him figure it out. Like holding his head up and looking at things and talking...and we get to help him figure it out by playing with him and talking with him and taking him places and showing him things...it makes this world seem pretty exciting and huge...especially when lights are one of the most exciting things...imagine when it's the dogs or grass or orange juice.

Although, the "all day" part will be coming to an end in 4-6 weeks for me. I haven't been thinking about it, but J reminded me today that it's 1 March and I said I'd be back to work on 3 April. Well...I'm going to push it to the back of my mind for another few weeks and continue to enjoy this time with Z and not think too much about anything...other than the sad tale of Mr. Boppyhead and how he lost his candy.