Wednesday, November 30, 2005

To grandmother's house we go...

Currently, our family is scattered throughout the United States *except* near Seattle. My mother's situation has recently changed and she is considering moving here. Making the move before the baby arrives is probably not likely, but she would like to be here for at least the month of January. We are looking for a sublet or house-sitting for the month of January that might extend through February or March. The ideal situation would be in or near Ballard/Crown Hill (where we live), furnished, and accept her elderly beagle - Casey.

Please let us know if you have any leads or ideas.

more on zeb

A Zeb that I missed...Grandpa Zeb Walton!
Thanks Jane!

Which caused me to search for "Zebulon" and to find several more interesting Zeb's...
  • Zebulon Pike - "an American soldier and explorer for whom Pikes Peak in Colorado is named. His Pike expedition, often compared to the Lewis and Clark expedition, mapped much of the southern portion of the Louisiana Purchase."
  • Zebulon Cafe and Bar - in San Fran
  • Zebulon - "the most rocking band ever! With stonehard music from the heart of Stockholm, Sweden"
  • Zebulon, North Carolina - "The Town of Friendly People"
  • Zebulon Baird Vance - Civil War officer, governor of North Carolina, and U.S. senator..."One of the dominant personalities of the South for nearly half a century, Zeb Vance served in public office for thirty years." He was a lawyer with "keen humor, intellect, and eloquent manner of speaking;" "Rugged, dynamic, and controversial, the senator was a powerful debater, packing the Senate galleries during every speech he delivered."

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

name games

The name "zeb" seems to be picking up momentum so I decided to research other people named Zeb. What do they do for a living? Where are they from? Does Zeb stand for anything?

Here are some of the people, processes, and objects named "Zeb"
  • Senator Zeb Little - Senate Floor Leader & Majority Leader, Alabama State Senate (D)
  • Zeb Hogan - Ph.D. Candidate, Graduate Group in Ecology, University of California, Davis (In Progess), Fulbright Fellow, Environmental Risk Assessment Program for Tropical Ecosystems, Chiang Mai University, 1997, B.S., Ecology and Evolutionary Biology, University of Arizona, 1996
  • Zeb Haradon - director, writer, filmographer
  • Zebulldada - Experimental music and art collective from Auburn, Washington
  • Zeb Palmer - Looks like a writer. Site won't load.
  • Planet Zeb - internet radio station that plays some of my favorites from the 80s and 90s (i.e., I can live with all 10 songs on their top 10 played list)
  • Zeb's portfolio - photography and design portfolio for Sebastien Chort, alias Zeb.
  • Zero Email Bounce - "ZEB would be the phase of a marketing person's week (or month) when we managed to clear out our inboxes."
If this sampling is representative, at least one thing seems certain....with a name like Zeb he's bound to be creative. :)

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

more clues about the name "gilhooly"

Grandma and Grandpa sent an email referring to, "Jillhooley or Jackhooley." We should have been calling him "Jackhooley" all along! oh well - too late to change the name of the blog. :)

Sunday, November 20, 2005

roller bed

I've been dreaming of a human-sized, pillowy "hot dog roller grill" for use in bed...

Each night I will sleep on my right side for a while then something will wake me: an arm gone numb, sore ribs, a full bladder - and I need to roll over to my left side to either fall back asleep or to get out of bed. No big deal, right? Except that rolling over is no longer a simple task. A few months ago we bought a new mattress - one of those incredibly cushy pillow-top mattresses where it's not so much a matter of lying down but sinking in. It's great, unless your abdominal muscles have been coopted by a baby, you are shaped like St. Nick, and that lovely pillow-top dampens any possible chance of momentum. Now that I have a kickstand for a belly, the elegance of rolling over has devolved into a push-up-and-flop bedquake that wakes both Gilhooly and J. If only a press of a button could rotate me one direction or the other...

happy husky

Iko running towards the camera with a big smile, me in the background
We were hoping for enough snow to snowshoe, instead we hiked. Iko ran sprints in every patch of snow he encountered. A husky in the snow is a happy husky!

I don't fit into my snow clothes anymore...luckily, I fit into John's.

On the way home we brainstormed names...again. The top two (today) are Dezmond/Dez/Dezzie and Zeb. We like the letter 'Z.'

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

round like the sink

32 weeks.
I am round like
the moon,
the sun,
a pumpkin.

I am round like
a wheel,
an antique hubcap,
a cactus.

But, most of all, I am round like my sink.

More photos of my increasing roundness.

thanksgiving

Although the U.S. Thanksgiving holiday is officially next week, I started celebrating about 8 months ago and in the past few weeks our list of what we are thankful for has grown quickly. We have received amazing care packages and warm wishes for the health of gilhooly from friends, family, and colleagues from all over the world. It is an amazing feeling - all of that love directed at the little being in my belly. We've been talking about ways to remind him and introduce him to all of you - the amazing people in his life/our lives. At a minimum, we'll be hanging photos of people around the house. :)

so, thanks to all of you who are supporting us through reading the blog, thinking of us, sending email, sending care packages, and being there. We are blessed. Thank you.

Friday, November 11, 2005

he's a squirmer

Gilhooly started squirming midway through prenatal yoga class then continued to wiggle throughout dinner, a shopping trip, 2 episodes of Desperate Housewives, and at least 20 minutes of lying in bed. He's a busy boy!

He seems busiest in the evening, starting around 4 pm. He has some movement in the morning as we're waking up. And usually he'll dance around for a while after breakfast and the morning dog walk.

About 20 minutes after I eat (no matter when I eat), he'll kick around for a while. I haven't timed it, but it seems pretty regular. The only consistent observation I've been making are the 4 o'clock kick counts and he continues to move 10 times in less than 15 minutes. From what I've read, as long as that stays consistent we're cool. I'm glad to read in several sources that a busy fetus doesn't necessarily mean we'll have a hyperactive child. Although, you never know... :)

Thursday, November 10, 2005

31 weeks

I'm finally back at work today after 8 sick days. I'm still fighting the cold and probably won't work a full day today, but at least I've got some energy back.

The shower Sunday was wonderful! About 25 people were there - guys and gals and several kids. MB made all sorts of interesting dishes: dates stuffed with garlic, figs stuffed with chocolate, rose petal sorbet, an apple salad with mint, etc. etc. Everyone hung out for about an hour and then we tore through the presents. :) We brought home a pile of beautiful gifts and were so happy to see everyone. We received all of the essential items from the registry and many, many fun, useful, and cute things.

Since today is my first day back at work, it's also my first day working in the downstairs office. So far, so good. It's given me the opporunity to clean out old files and equipment (anyone need an old DSL modem? linksys access point?). I'm not completely moved in, so the office is pretty bare. Plus, I'll have to negotiate decorations and layout with my new "officemate" - J's studio is in the other half of the room. We're trying an arrangement of "office by day, studio by night" which means that at the end of my work day I straighten up the office for J to have a clean studio by night and vice versa.

Sunday is the start of our 8th month. It's hard to believe we're almost 8 weeks away. Birth classes have been going well. This week we saw a video of a woman going through a non-medicated birth (my goal). It showed a couple minutes of her at each of the major stages of labor and delivery. It started around 4pm with walking around a park, then at 6 pm when they headed to the hospital then at 7:15 pm when she was only 5 centimeters dilated and she was devastated! She had been working so hard she felt sure she was closer to 8 or 9. They walked around the hospital for several hours. I think they showed her again at midnight when she started the 3rd phase - transition. That's the most intense phase and she was ready to give up. Then by the time she needed to push (around one a.m.?) she was so exhausted that her husband had to hold her head up to help her push! As the baby's head began to crest, the mother caught a second wave of energy and was able to push the baby out then she was ecstatic when she held her baby girl. wow! She had a doula and that seemed to make a difference. The father seemed stunned sometimes...unsure how to help. I think J will be more confident, but I think he'll need to be able to take a break. I think I'll talk with Gracewinds about a doula.

Watching the video inspired me to get my butt back to the gym! I'm frustrated that I haven't had the energy to get there regularly the last couple of weeks, but I can feel that I'm on the upswing from this cold and I know that I'll get back into shape. It's clear how much endurance I'll need and how strong I want to be so that we can successfully do this un-medicated. At least I've been walking the dogs each day, doing some yoga, and went swimming last thursday. But, I need to get back on the weights, the treadmill, the elipsis, and walking my 3 miles around green lake. It feels more and more like the training for the marathon...those last few weeks were crucial.

This weekend we hope to buy the nursery furnishings (crib, dresser, couch, curtains, door, etc.), finish moving office stuff out of the nursery, finish setting up the office/studio, then set up the nursery! Plus, Swansons Holiday sale starts on Saturday and I've got 40 Swanson's dollars to spend for the plants I need for Phase II of the garden project.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

letting go

As I ran errands the other day I noticed the brilliant colors of the leaves on the trees and wondered why this year the colors seemed brighter and to last longer than they had in a few years. I realized this is the first complete autumn I've seen in 6 years - because I've been home and not on the road for work.

Today, I stood in my office...unable to work. Tired from the weekend, sore throat, and grieving. This room represents all that I have worked towards for the last 20 years...studying computers in high school and on into college, and graduate school...a culmination of dreams...helping to make the world a better place, striving to learn as much as I could, to contribute. Now it will become the place for a very different kind of contribution.

I'm full of so many emotions: love for my unborn child and my husband, fear for not knowing - what he'll be like, what i'll be like, how this will affect me and j, excitement for the possibilities, grief that things will never be the same again...yet a longing for the changes.

But, I think the overwhelming feeling today is grief. We'll be disassembling my office this weekend and as I sit in this room for one of the last times as my work space I realize how much I've done. I know I will take to mothering with the same enthusiasm and attention to detail, yet I hope I am more balanced. I've given so much of myself to my work and it's not always been healthy. With mothering, it must be even harder not to immerse myself...what will be the balance? What are the healthy limits? Am I afraid of losing myself in motherhood even more than I have in my job? Or, will I find myself and new dimensions to myself?

This job, while stressful, has been challenging and wonderful. The experiences, lessons, places, and people have been more than I ever dreamed. As much as I have complained about it, it is hard to let go. Not that I'm leaving forever, but things will change.

The last two days have been difficult because I have been so tired and unable to contribute as I should. I only have 8 weeks of work before maternity leave. I'll be away from work for 3 months and I have no idea how I'll feel about work in April. That scares me. I feel pulled between letting go and working harder than ever to get as much done before I go....letting go is winning and I've never felt that before. I feel guilty, tired, I don't want to let people down. Yet, this being inside is demanding my attention and I can't say "no."

We started birth class last night and this weekend is the shower. Even with all the kicking inside, it's still hard to believe that we'll really have a child in 10 weeks. Hard to believe that all those little outfits tucked away in the guest room will be full of life. And that this room will become someone's bedroom. And that I will be someone's mom.