Third Trimester

When I started on the path of being single again, I had an inkling it was going to take 9 months to birth the new me. I started calling future me "Wendy 3.0" and started caring for myself as if I were physically pregnant--eating better, exercising, massaging my feet, cranial sacral sessions, massage, trips to the spa, a few new clothes, and journaling like mad. In a few days, it will be 6 months since I began this journey. Our paperwork was filed with the court last week which means in 90 days--assuming everything goes smoothly--I will be divorced. 90 days from today is almost exactly 9 months.

That means we're starting the 3rd trimester. I loved the 3rd trimester of my pregnancy with Zeb. My hair was gorgeous and I got all sorts of special treatment. I had an excuse to leave boring conversations ("gotta pee!") and had license to nap whenever, wherever I wanted. Interestingly, Zeb was also conceived in April which means I was starting the 3rd trimester with him in October 2005 (although later in the month). I was also talking about the changes within and how my perspective on work was shifting. And, I had one of the coolest Halloween costumes ever.

I've spent most of this weekend reflecting on how much I've changed in the last 6 months...how much our lives have changed. It doesn't seem possible that things can change so quickly and sometimes I doubt that it's "real" change. That someday I'll go back to being my old self. Yet, looking back on my pregnancy, I've done it before. It truly is amazing how much difference 9 months can make.

Then I started looking forward.

As soon as Zeb was born, we entered the 4th trimester--those first 3 months when babies get used to living outside of the womb and are so defenseless. That was a shocking time. It was challenging to completely shed my previous life and become a mother. There was so much joy, love, and stress and so little sleep!

Will Wendy 3.0 also need a 4th trimester or will she be more like a colt--bolting around hours after birth? What major shocks loom around the corner?

In contrast to Zeb's 4th trimester being the hardest part of the birthing Zeb, I'm hoping the hardest part of birthing Wendy 3.0 was the first--those first 3 disorienting, wrenching months.

I spoke with a friend this weekend who is in the fourth trimester with her newborn daughter. There are some challenging times, but I was also reminded of the beautiful times: the times that I spent staring at Zeb for hours watching him breathe. Of the time that we were sitting on the couch in our living room and a bald eagle flew down the alley past our window. Of the myriad facial expressions that constantly amused us. Of all the "firsts"--the first time nursing in public, the first road trip, the first laugh.

There are exciting times ahead. I've done it before. I will do it again.

AND to add to all of this talk about birthing...my brother and Sarah welcomed Jada Lucille Chisholm to this earth over the weekend!! I'm so proud of my brother and Sarah and so in love with them. I wish I could be there to help.

I love the beautiful spiral that we travel on together. Lots of love to all of you.