zebb and flow

I can't figure out a clever professional wrestling name for Z, and I'd like to - he's a natural. He's perfected his pointed elbow drop and it's only a matter of months before he tosses me to the ground with a gorilla press slam. Suggestions welcome.

In other news, he and our new neighbor (who's name also begins with Z) will either be starting a band called "ZZ Middle" or a gang called "Crown Hill and Z-boys."

one step forward

hummingbird feeder
Originally uploaded by anneke boudreau.

Someone in the nasal pantheon must have been listening. Z didn't sleep well for 2 nights, but on the 3rd (Saturday) he slept for 5, woke briefly then slept some more. Sunday, I woke with energy! As I walked out of the grocery store, I realized that I was in a *great* mood for the first time in months.

I've been meditating every day - a pact that I made with LMcG. We're not workout buddies, we're meditation buddies. We're going to fulfill our ultimate purposes.

Friday, I told Granny that the hummingbird feeder that I hung in August has gone unnoticed - to my dismay. I found a gorgeous, wood handmade feeder at an art fair in Wisconsin in August. I had been looking at feeders all summer and wasn't too crazy about the plastic ones but was going to buy one as soon as we returned from vacation. I had seen a hummingbird perch on one of the wires outside Z's window and twice had seen one flying near the northwest corner of our house. An experiened hummingbird hostess, she gave me ideas about where to place and how to hang the feeder. Saturday, as J and I sat in the living room (weepy from watching "50 First Dates"), the green shimmer of a hummingbird flitted around the feeder. Someone has discovered it! I refilled it and left it where it is. I've lost track of how many times per day I wonder if he or she has returned...I am on a mission for a photograph.

J finally met our neighbors - RT, ST, KT and ZT. ZT is only a couple weeks old. It's great to have another set of parents who live so close and we seem to have a lot in common. I look forward to getting to know them better - lots more bbqs!

I've been talking with RT about work...and actually looking forward to it. A week ago J and I realized that - as J predicted - I will need to bring in money starting in January. I spent a few hours online this weekend catching up with recent technology news and just taking it all in - surfing the web, something I haven't enjoyed doing for a while - funny that. I feel the changes in the season - like flora am sinking roots deeper and wider to support new blooms early next year.

All of these things are contributing to an upbeat mood around the house. We all felt it yesterday.

power of prediction...

...or self-fulfilling prophecy? The other day I joked that Z was sleeping well for us so that he could begin waking more often. He slept well for two nights and on the third at 3 a.m. he woke because his nose was stuffed up. Yesterday, he napped for a total of 1 hour (the previous days he napped for 4 hours) and last night, he didn't fall asleep until 10 p.m. then woke at 3 hour intervals thereafter. J and I took turns sleeping with him so we could keep his head propped up and minimize the stuffiness.

At least he has a good temperament. Even with a nose like a drawbridge that alternates between stop and go, he's laughing, smiling, and cooing. What a kid. Plus, with two nights of sleep I'm not feeling so bad. My biggest concern is that it could jeopardize our plans for a date tonight! Our first in months...

I'll be doing the "happy nose dance" all day. Please join me in a rousing rendition and hope the snot gods are listening.

sleep!

Z decided to celebrate his 8th month birthday by sleeping. Hooray! I don't want to jinx us...this could all be a fluke...but he fell asleep at 9 p.m. then J sat straight up in bed at 3 a.m. and whispered a panicked, "is he o.k.?" Z was still breathing so we decided to go back to sleep. I'm not sure what happened next...it's a lovely, sleepy blur....I think Z slept until 4 then I held him for about 10 minutes while he went back to sleep. Then, I think he woke again between 5 and 6 and J brought him in to nurse. At some point, the boys made breakfast while I snoozed for a few more minutes. If I'm doing the math correctly - which is always debatable - we may have actually slept for 7 hours and he went without nursing for 8 - setting a new house record and a personal best for Z.

I'm not getting my hopes up, but at least we know it's possible. Earlier in the day I was doubting our latest approach, settling into the fact that it could be months before we get a decent night of sleep. Then, voila! A nice surprise from Z...although it was probably just a tease...letting me get some rest before he starts waking up even more...heh. Well, whatever. I'll keep him anyway. He's pretty cute.

road trip

LMcG 'n' Z 2
Originally uploaded by anneke boudreau.

J left for London on Thursday, so on Saturday, Z and I drove to Portland to stay with LMcG and SdG. Initially, I planned to take the train. But as Saturday approached, I became apprehensive: how would I get us and all of our stuff to the train? Was it even a good idea to go? Would it disrupt the progress we've made on sleeping? How childproof is their house - would I spend the whole time keeping Z out of trouble? If I drove, I knew Z would likely only sleep one of the three hours - what would I do the other 2? But, if I stayed home, how fried would I be from not getting a break from caring for Z 24/7? After consulting with several people, I decided to go for it and drive. I also decided to take Old Black Deaf Dog figuring she would enjoy the trip and Z would enjoy the backseat companionship.

My strategy was to pack the car the night before, then hit the road for Z's morning nap. I figured I could at least get 1/3 of the way there then stop and play until Z was ready for his afternoon nap. Of course, it didn't quite work out that way.

Around 9 I noticed Z was starting to itch his eyes and yawn. I had to take out the garbage, my clothes were in the washer, I hadn't disassembled the travel crib, etc. etc. J called and said, "take your time." I put Z down for his nap and continued with chores.

When he woke around 10, I put him in the hip hammock. I stil had plenty to do - water the outdoor plants, put the bags in the car, move the laundry from washer to dryer, etc. Around 1, he started looking tired again. I knew our travel window was quickly approaching.

With all the traveling that I've done, I know how to pack exactly what I need which means I usually travel pretty light. There were a few week-long business trips to Europe where all of my clothes, computer, and accessories fit into a daypack. ...With a bag for the dog, a basket of clothes and toys for Z, a bag of clothes for me, a bag of food for the 2 of us, a travel crib, and a stroller - the trunk was *full!* I'm so glad I didn't take the train.

Around 1:30, as we headed south on Western Avenue - the Olympics to our right, Queen Anne hill covered with trees to our left, and Simpsons' clouds straight ahead - I had the radio tuned to KPLU (NPR/Jazz). Vince Garibaldi's "Linus and Lucy" - a song from The Peanuts Christmas show - fit the moment perfectly - a moment full of potential, freedom, movement...and two silent, giddy traveling companions in the back seat. Old Black Deaf Dog excited to be on the road again after a long hiatus; Z happy that OBDD was so close and had no escape.

Soon after, I put on the Grateful Dead CD....this was Z's first Road Trip afterall...

Z drifted off for about an hour and a half and woke up astonished that the dog was still in the backseat. About 2 1/2 hours into the drive I decided to pull off and happened to take an exit with a park. I put Z in the hammock, the leash on Old Black Deaf Dog and we strolled through the trees. Back at the car, I tied the dog to a nearby pole and nursed Z in the front seat. Then he stood in my lap and played with the steering wheel for a while.

About 15 minutes on the road, he got fussy again. For the next 30 minutes, I gave him a new toy every time he fussed - about every 2-5 minutes. 20 minutes from Portland, I ran out of toys and started talking about the raceway ("zoom! zoom!") as we passed it, then all the streets we would drive and the people we would meet. I guess the sound of my voice calmed him, because he was ok the rest of the drive. We arrived around 5:15.

The weekend was awesome. I'm so thankful to have friends to stay with and to help. I got a few needed breaks, some great conversation, a pedicure!, and was very well fed.

The drive home yesterday was similar to the trip down, except one of the neighbors fed bones to Old Black Deaf Dog at the BBQ on Sunday so we had to open the windows a few times. :) I was surprised how apprehensive I was to get in the car and go...then how relieved (excited!) I felt once we were in the car. Another first. Another obstacle overcome. Confidence rising.

More photos are available.

update

Z is crawling more often than "worming," which means he is quicker and can tote around toys in one or both hands. He's honing all of his other new skillz - pulling himself up, cruising the furniture, and picking up food to bring to his mouth (as well as anything else he discovers from the glorious buffet on the ground). This morning he did at least 40 laps on his crib rail, i.e., walking side to side to side to side - very quickly. The other day he did at least 50 squats standing at the game table. This is good because we've already arranged a gym membership for him (ha ha).

The cat is absolutely horrified - Z is now able to shoot his arm out at lightning speed to grab her tail and he's getting strong enough he can pull her backwards (I had to let him do it, it was pretty funny, although I apologized to the cat and promised not to let him do it again). His pincer grasp has evolved enough that he can pick up pieces of banana - a week ago when he tried it the bananas all fell to the floor, today they all made it into his mouth.

We spent most of the day yesterday at Green Lake with Z&X. Had a picnic, walked around (with Z in the jogging stroller), then swang for a while, then he took a nap under a tree while I lay on a blanket studying the leaves.

J was out of town last week and leaves again tomorrow so I'm making sure we have a full social calendar.

I hung our new hummingbird feeder last week but think the only visitors we've had are wasps.

I planted dozens of seeds 2 weeks ago and the result is lots of basil, 3 lupine, 0 echinacea, and 0 daisies. That's ok - Swanson's fall sale starts tomorrow (woooopeeeeee!).

I joined "Seattle hipster mamas" and look forward to the pool party in a couple weeks.

We had a BBQ with neighbors who were due 5 days ago. Mom is going to stay home and raise the new baby and their 3 year old. Dad works at a web design shop and might send some work my way. LMcG and SdG were here for the weekend and we ran into the neighbors at the farmer's market. That evening we were grilling with them. Hooray for neighborhood farmer's markets and neighbors.

With J out of town, Z and I are in charge of walking the dogs. We discovered the backback - Z loves it. He hangs out, overlooking my shoulder, watching the ground, the dogs, the trees...he's a natural. So amazingly cute in it...I'll have to take a photo - there is no way I can describe how content he is in the backpack.

He's able to put himself to sleep at night - with only a little bit of fussing. He then sleeps for 3 hour stretches, but still expects to eat when he wakes. It's huge progress. Next, we'll have to figure out how to eliminate some of those night feedings. He skipped one the other night (not by his choice...mom was experimenting), but at least we know it's possible.

It's exciting to see the kids at the park and think about what he'll be learning and doing next. It's also nice to have more children in our lives and to extend our community. When we were in the midwest it became clear that we needed more of those folks in our lives and voila! We're home and 2 weeks later the roster grows. I'm thankful that my requests were heard and answered. It's also great that our virtual community is growing stronger - all you folks reading this and exchanging email. Keep it coming.

It's another bonus to not working - I have more time to tend to relationships - something that was too overwhelming for me to do while I was working - I was tending to so many work relationships.

Many folks have asked if I miss work. No. I needed this break. I probably should have taken it a while ago. I still don't know what's next or when or what. Right now, I don't need to know.

xoxo

J and Z after the aquarium

Taking photos with my new phone...