Happy Halloween!

the great pumpkin
Originally uploaded by anneke boudreau.

Gilhooly's first costume: the great pumpkin.

About 15 kids attended Xavier's Haunted House (photos) and costume party yesterday. Wow! That's a lot of energy...and a lot of fun.

third trimester

We kicked off the third trimester last week with 4 days of face-to-face meetings. In those 4 days I think we spent over 40 hours in face-to-face discussions and another 10 or so hours eating and visiting outside of the meeting room. By Friday, I was exhausted and slept most of the weekend. Sunday, my throat was sore so I drank cup after cup of hot peppermint tea and orange juice. By Monday, my sore throat was gone but my energy was still low. I have several action items from the meetings that I need to complete this week and am trying to pace myself.

Needless to say, that's why I haven't written much even though there's been several notable changes in the last couple of weeks.

One of the highlights from last week's meetings was a surprise baby shower! J and I had the committee over for dinner on Wednesday (we ordered out from the local Thai restaurant). After folks had finished eating, a pile of gifts appeared on our couch! Special thanks to LGR who arranged it and for everyone who contributed. Some people brought gifts from home (including a very cool Japanese t-shirt from Tokyo, beautifully illustrated books, a gorgeous white hooded suit) and others contributed to a fund that LGR used to purchase a whole stack of beautiful clothes, books, blankets, and a nifty sling. [BIG thanks to J who left work early to clean the house and had the ambiance perfect by the time we arrived after a long day of meetings. smooooooch.]

I've been meaning to write about the sudden change in movement that started on 9 October and has continued since then. I remember sitting on the couch (probably watching a "Battlestar Galactica" episode) when a couple inches of my belly protruded about 1/2 an inch. I felt the bump - it was solid and triangular. Was it a heel? an elbow? I'm not sure, but I pushed a little harder and he pushed back. Our first communication?

Since then, my belly distorts into a variety of shapes and protrusions throughout the day. Most of the time it's amusing but every now and then, it hurts! He's got quite a punch or kick.

As of last Friday, the doctor has asked me to keep "kick counts." Every day around 4 pm I drink some water or juice then lay down. I am supposed to count at least 10 movements in one hour. If I don't, I'm supposed to drink more water or juice and if I still don't feel 10 movements in one hour, I'm supposed to call my doctor.

I've been doing this for almost a week and each time I've felt 10 movements in 5-15 minutes. I've also been doing this other times throughout the day when he is active. The movement should settle down as he runs out of room - over the next couple of months - but I'm enjoying the feelings until then.

I really want to know what part of him I'm feeling and how he's positioned. I asked the nurse if we'll have another ultrasound, so I can take a peek, but she says they'll only do one if they need to. Looks like I'll have to keep guessing. Sometimes it feels like his feet are towards the right of my belly button and his arms are down near by bladder. Othertimes, it feels like his butt is to the right of my belly button and his head is to the left - there are two big mounds and my belly looks stretched sideways.

I find myself wishing for the ultrasound t-shirt that J and I "invented" back in week 20.

I can't believe we only have 11 weeks left. It seems so short and so long. I really can't wait to meet him. But, we have so much to do! This weekend is the Halloween party that we're throwing with ZJK for 10 3-5 year olds. The following weekend we'll begin cleaning out the laundry room to move my office down there, then we'll need to buy the crib, curtains, and other items for the nursery. I can't wait to organize all of the gifts that we've received so far. CS suggested last week that we sort all of the clothes by size otherwise, something that is smaller may not be discovered until after he's already outgrown it. Right now, everything baby related is spread out on our guest bed. I go down there every couple of days, sort through things, and imagine a tiny body filling them up...

My weight gain has slowed down. As of today I've gained 22 pounds. Assuming that I'll continue to gain one pound per week, I'll probably gain a total of 30-35 pounds - which was my goal. It's funny - for a while I was concerned I was gaining too much, now I'm concerned I'm not gaining enough. :) There always seems to be something to worry about. I'm working to replace my fears with unrelenting faith.

We plan to take more photos this weekend. I took bare-belly self-portraits on 6 October and again a couple nights ago. There is a notable difference in the size of my belly. I'm not growing out, but definitely up. He should be about 15 inches long now and weigh about 3 pounds!

We've also been out in the garden. We planted bulbs by the driveway: hyacinth, daffodil, tulip, and bearded iris. They are all in the purple, white, and red color scheme. Phase II of the garden is starting and should be complete around mid-November. In this phase we have one more tree to move (a maple from the porch to the driveway) and lots of decorative grasses and herbs to plant across the front fence and along the front walkway. Thanks again to J for helping with all of the bending, pulling, and digging.

Enough babbling for today...more soon.

changes within

While JS is going through a very different situation, a walk with dillon asks some of the same questions that I've been asking as a result of being pregnant and looking forward to the changes in our lives that will result:

What are my priorities now? Which of the many things I did before I got sick do I still want to do? Which of them can I do? What if I don'’t want to do them? What if there'’s some part of me that likes this slowed-down life? What if there's some part of me that likes being sick, that hides behind it, uses it for a shield?

Life has definitely slowed down since being pregnant and my priorities have shifted: I don't get as upset about work as I used to, don't take successes and failures of our committee personally, and don't feel as much of the weight of responsibility to finish our project. I'm still invested, but less personally; I have some emotional distance which gives me a fresh perspective - a healthier, more objective perspective.

We're meeting face-to-face this week and I'm not getting the breaks that I usually take throughout the day. Because I'm tired, I've been a bit more emotional and in some cases less clear than I usually would be in a meeting like this. My intuition about summarizing issues and suggesting changes is fogged by my new primary concern - the health of me and the baby. It's hard to get too worked up about the wording of a paragraph in the standard that we're working on when the little boy inside me starts kicking and my mind drifts to a dream of playing with him on a playground or reading him a story or watching him play with J. It's both frustrating and exciting.

However, what I still get worked up about are decisions that may delay the accessibility of the Web by several years. Yesterday I spoke passionately to the committee that if we fail to push captions and audio descriptions today, 10 years from now we'll be playing catch up - again. For once, I'd like to see us break the discriminatory cycle that is part of technological evolution. We have the opportunity to ride the wave instead of watching everyone else catch it and leave us behind. This opportunity has presented itself many times before and each time we get a little closer...maybe this time we'll actually catch it...

barefoot and pregnant

Mom delivers 16th child, thinking of more

The Learning Channel is doing another show about the family's construction project, a 7,000-square foot house that should be finished before Christmas. The home, which the family has been building for two years, will have nine bathrooms, dormitory-style bedrooms for the girls and boys, a commercial kitchen, four washing machines and four dryers.

With a family of 18 people you could:

• Form 9 teams of doubles for a volleyball, ping pong, or tennis tournament
  
• Form 3 teams of 6 people and play a basketball tournament
• Form 2 hockey teams - each with 6 players on the ice and 3 substitutes
  
• Form 1 hurling team with 15 players on the field and 3 substitutes

You would need more than a minivan...you'd need a bus or an 18 passenger hummer limo.

Every meal would be like Thanksgiving.

thesis/antithesis

Not surprisingly, I've been reading a variety of books, magazines, and Web sites for information about pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, child development, and parenting. For every theory I've read I've found someone else promoting the exact antithesis:

• sleeping with your baby helps him feel more secure and reduces risk for SIDS/sleeping with your baby makes him feel less secure and increases his risk for SIDS;
  
• feed your baby every time he cries/feed your baby only at regularly timed intervals;
  
• don't drink any wine during pregnancy/a glass here or there is ok;
  
• feed your baby bland foods until after 2 years old/feed your baby the same foods that you eat (as long as there is no choking hazard) as early as 6 months old;
• using a pacifier will disrupt breastfeeding/using a pacifier may prevent SIDS;
  
• circumcision has no medical benefits/circumcision has many medical benefits.

Gack! I'm ready to toss it all since "mother knows best" (this worked well for the dogs, right? ;) ) I'll keep reading and storing away interesting tidbits, but I expect - as with many parents I've talked with - we'll discover our own mix of approaches...and perhaps invent a few of our own.

Is "gilhooly" related to Ellen Burstyn?

One of my colleagues recently asked, "Does the name [gilhooly] have anything to do with Ellen Burstyn?" He had been playing a movie trivia game and the question was "What are the

stage names of the following people?". Gilhooly was in the list.

My response was:

It could. I'm not sure. My Great Aunt Betty - who was (from what I've heard) a progressive, artistic, lively woman - called my brother "gilhooly" while he was in the womb and everyone else adopted it. When I got pregnant, my family started calling our unborn "gilhooly" - thus creating a family tradition. :)

My dad thought it meant "little one" but I haven't found any evidence of that. I did a couple checks on Ellen and it could very well be inspired by her.

So, family, did Aunt Betty get the name Gilhooly from Ellen Burstyn? Or is there a better theory?

running for a cause

For the last year, one of my colleagues has been training to run a marathon. He writes:

Many of you already know the story of our close friends, Anne and Michael, and their beautiful daughter Emma. For those of you who haven’t already heard, here’s the story:

About a year ago (Sept. 16 to be exact) Emma Mae was born with an extremely difficult struggle ahead of her. Due to an undiagnosed blood condition resulting in placental separation and internal bleeding, Emma was born 6 weeks early with critical blood loss. An otherwise perfect baby was born fighting for her life and, despite the odds, Emma was able to hang on for an all-too-short life of 8.5 days.

As soon as we heard the news, Mindy and I headed for Akron to be with our friends during this difficult time. We had the pleasure of meeting Emma and experiencing first hand what wonderful parents Anne and Michael are. Emma’s friends and family surrounded her with love and attention for the short time she was alive and we were deeply honored to have been a part of it all.

Since Emma’s death, Anne and Michael have been in contact with the Akron Children’s Hospital, which is where Emma was taken immediately after she was born. Recently, they have been asked to be involved with the redesign of the Akron Children’s Hospital Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) "Family Room," where Emma, Anne and Michael spent their last moments together.

The three of them are the primary reason I’ve spent so much time on the trails/treadmill this year. Last December, Michael called me with an invitation to run a marathon with him in memory of Emma. Though the idea seemed crazy to me at the time, I am increasingly confident that finishing will be possible. After 10 months of training, our hope is to make our efforts even more worthwhile than we originally expected by contributing to the creation of an all-new family room – "Emma’s Room" – which will benefit families who will spend time there in the future.

This Sunday, October 9 (Happy Birthday Dad!), three people will be running the marathon in memory of Emma. We’ll be working our way along a limestone path from Akron to Cleveland. If you are willing and able, I am asking for your financial support. Any and all donations are very much appreciated and will go directly to the Akron Children’s Hospital NICU redesign. If you’re able to contribute, please make your checks out to "Akron Children’s Hospital" with a memo note to "Emma’s Room/NICU" and send it to the following address before the Friday following the marathon (October 14th, 2005).

Akron Children's Hospital
Development Department
One Perkins Square
Akron, OH 44308-1062

Good luck, Ben! We're rooting for your success both in running the marathon and raising funds for Emma's room.

Chicagoland - 29 Sept to 3 Oct

There were two main themes of the trip to Chicagoland: 1. "Elmhurst College" and 2. "mommas." All-in-all we saw:

• 2 of our 3 mothers
• 1 of our 2 fathers
• 1 of our 2 brothers
• 1 of our 5 aunts
• 7 Elmhurst College graduates
  
• 1 Marion High School graduate
  
• 1 FYBC member
• 6 offspring from friends (ages 6 months to 9 years)
  
• 1 newly acquired friend (now married to an EC grad)
  

We spent our time:

• Opening gifts
• Listening to our mothers tell stories about our childhoods
• Celebrating a new marriage
• Celebrating a 45th wedding anniversary
• Celebrating a 28th birthday
  
• Catching up with college friends on pregnancy, birth, child-rearing, work, play, and life
• Absorbing loving energy from all
• Massaging my aching back

After 7 years of always having another trip on the horizon, this concludes my last scheduled trip. We talked about returning to Chicagoland next summer to show off Gilhooly, but nothing is planned. My respite from travel begins at the right time because the Southwests and JetBlues have successfully gutted the joy of travel from the airline industry. We used frequent flyer miles on the newly Chapter 11-fied Northwest and didn't get *any* love for the hundreds of thousands of miles I've flown with them over the last 7 years. Pillows, blankets, movies, and meals were not available and we had two layovers (Boise and Minneapolis). While the layovers gave me a much needed break from sitting, it made for 2 long days of travel and lots of wild kicking from Gilhooly on the descents - I felt bruised.

But, it was well worth the infusions of mom energy that I got from our own mothers, mothers that we met at the wedding, and our good friends who are mothers. I am so thankful for all of the love and support from all those folks who form our roots. Lots of love, hugs and kisses to all.