what a difference a year makes

12 months ago today I wrote the entry "baby by 5 pm." I had no idea what I was in for. :) The title of this blog was "The Life and Times of ZGB" but in between his milestones and accomplishments, this blog is really about the changes within me. Thus, the new title, "Life with ZGB."

I haven't written much lately. Each time I start to draft a summary of the shifts in my emotional landscape I can't find the the tools to capture the panoramic view. So, I haven't written anything. Not even in my handwritten, paper journal. Last night was the first time since 29 December and it's only a list of words:

• humility
• responsibility
• flexibility
• patience
• intimacy
• anger
• forgiveness
• discipline
• asking questions, listening, learning
• not taking the easy path
• no more "instant credibility"
• communication
• separation anxiety

I'm celebrating his birthday by reading through the blog. On 26 August 2006, I wrote:

I hope all of the seeds growing now continue to take root and that this metamorphosis will be larger and more rewarding than I could have expected. Everyone's been saying, "having a child will change your life forever" and I knew that, but it's so hard to predict how and how much. I still don't know how different things will be when we actually meet him or her. But, for all of the beautiful changes that we've experienced so far, thanks Gil!

It's true, a child changes your life...a lot....thank jah.

It's been difficult and not always much fun, but I feel my rough edges smoothing and my true nature showing through. I am a slab of rock and ZGB is my Michelangelo.