you get what you need
No more photos yet. I've been playing with the camera, but I haven't quite figured out a shot that captures his cuteness. heh.
We seem to be settling into a good routine. Although, we couldn't have done it without Sally from the birthing center. On Monday, we returned to the hospital for our "mother-baby visit." Since Z had been fussy for several hours and we were frazzled, we considered blowing off the appointment, but it was the perfect time and situation for us to go. Sally was wise and incredibly intuitive: since John and I are both "intense" (rather than mellow) we have an intense baby and he needs to be swaddled during feeding (to keep his hands from distracting him as he feeds) and his feet need to be supported (so he doesn't feel he is floating in air and that he knows his physical boundaries). Also, we had been "priming" him with pumped milk (to get him started feeding) which meant that he was filling up on foremilk rather than hindmilk (i.e., getting the initial sugar water and not the protein-rich good stuff) which was likely causing him to be gassy which caused the fussing. With those few things and a handful of other tricks (like pushing his feet into his belly to relieve gas - yoga baby!), we've settled into a pretty good 2-4 hour feeding pattern. I've also cut out as much dairy as I can in case that has been contributing to the gas.
He's been really alert a few times during the day...we'll stare into each other's eyes for what seem like hours (but is probably only 20-30 minutes :) .
J got a new acoustic guitar for Z and gave us a private concert the other night. I think it was one of the best moments of my life...me holding Z in my lap listening to my husband sing a love song he wrote for me while we were in college.
As for his birth, JW helped me realize that you get what you need not necessarily what you want. Being as independent and strong-willed as I can be having the birth that I imagined could have really empowered me in ways that would have interfered with my partnership with J. As it is, I have had to rely on him more than I ever have and it has brought us closer together. I had been asking the universe for a healthy baby, a non-medicated birth, and for J and my relationship to deepen and grow, for us to be able to welcome this new person into our lives in such a way that all of our lives would be enriched. Apparently, for me to have the healthy baby and rich relationship with my husband I did not need to have the non-medicated birth.
I also have to mention Tom - our anesthesiologist. Since I was so worried about the surgery my ob/gyn nurse suggested that I arrive 30 minutes early to talk with Tom. He pushed on my back to give me an idea how the spinal would feel and talked me through the entire surgery - what would be happening, what he would be doing, what the other doctors would be doing, and what I should expect to feel. He was very excited about the whole process and obviously enjoys his work - enthusiastically describing each step in the surgery, "It's so cool! One doctor will be pushing on the top of your belly and the other will be pulling the baby out." After all of the details of the surgery, we had plenty of time before they needed to start prepping me so he asked how J and I met and where we were from. How is this for a small world: Tom graduated from Elmhurst College! That's where J and I met - a small private school outside of Chicago. Most people have never heard of it and I've never met anyone (other than the folks we went to school with) who graduated from EC. In the delivery room he had everyone singing "Windy" by The Association - one my favorite songs since I was named after it (with the spelling of the Beach Boys song).
The rest of the hospital stay was good. We had several people visit us in the hospital and J took care of everything - burping, swaddling, changing diapers, etc. etc. while it took all of my energy to hold and feed Z. Again, I got what I needed and not what I asked for - J gained confidence in handling Z and I surrendered to being cared for and slowing down.
Thank you universe for giving me what I needed and not what I wanted. Regardless of how a baby arrives, it is a new life and a mother is born.
We seem to be settling into a good routine. Although, we couldn't have done it without Sally from the birthing center. On Monday, we returned to the hospital for our "mother-baby visit." Since Z had been fussy for several hours and we were frazzled, we considered blowing off the appointment, but it was the perfect time and situation for us to go. Sally was wise and incredibly intuitive: since John and I are both "intense" (rather than mellow) we have an intense baby and he needs to be swaddled during feeding (to keep his hands from distracting him as he feeds) and his feet need to be supported (so he doesn't feel he is floating in air and that he knows his physical boundaries). Also, we had been "priming" him with pumped milk (to get him started feeding) which meant that he was filling up on foremilk rather than hindmilk (i.e., getting the initial sugar water and not the protein-rich good stuff) which was likely causing him to be gassy which caused the fussing. With those few things and a handful of other tricks (like pushing his feet into his belly to relieve gas - yoga baby!), we've settled into a pretty good 2-4 hour feeding pattern. I've also cut out as much dairy as I can in case that has been contributing to the gas.
He's been really alert a few times during the day...we'll stare into each other's eyes for what seem like hours (but is probably only 20-30 minutes :) .
J got a new acoustic guitar for Z and gave us a private concert the other night. I think it was one of the best moments of my life...me holding Z in my lap listening to my husband sing a love song he wrote for me while we were in college.
As for his birth, JW helped me realize that you get what you need not necessarily what you want. Being as independent and strong-willed as I can be having the birth that I imagined could have really empowered me in ways that would have interfered with my partnership with J. As it is, I have had to rely on him more than I ever have and it has brought us closer together. I had been asking the universe for a healthy baby, a non-medicated birth, and for J and my relationship to deepen and grow, for us to be able to welcome this new person into our lives in such a way that all of our lives would be enriched. Apparently, for me to have the healthy baby and rich relationship with my husband I did not need to have the non-medicated birth.
I also have to mention Tom - our anesthesiologist. Since I was so worried about the surgery my ob/gyn nurse suggested that I arrive 30 minutes early to talk with Tom. He pushed on my back to give me an idea how the spinal would feel and talked me through the entire surgery - what would be happening, what he would be doing, what the other doctors would be doing, and what I should expect to feel. He was very excited about the whole process and obviously enjoys his work - enthusiastically describing each step in the surgery, "It's so cool! One doctor will be pushing on the top of your belly and the other will be pulling the baby out." After all of the details of the surgery, we had plenty of time before they needed to start prepping me so he asked how J and I met and where we were from. How is this for a small world: Tom graduated from Elmhurst College! That's where J and I met - a small private school outside of Chicago. Most people have never heard of it and I've never met anyone (other than the folks we went to school with) who graduated from EC. In the delivery room he had everyone singing "Windy" by The Association - one my favorite songs since I was named after it (with the spelling of the Beach Boys song).
The rest of the hospital stay was good. We had several people visit us in the hospital and J took care of everything - burping, swaddling, changing diapers, etc. etc. while it took all of my energy to hold and feed Z. Again, I got what I needed and not what I asked for - J gained confidence in handling Z and I surrendered to being cared for and slowing down.
Thank you universe for giving me what I needed and not what I wanted. Regardless of how a baby arrives, it is a new life and a mother is born.
posted by sp1ral at 9:01 AM
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